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well.
i kinda acknowledge the fact that i don't relate well to others.
it's kinda a stumbling block and it leads to all sorts of problems lo.
confidence.
of which i thought i've plenty.
haha. i still do.
but then again, what do i know?

leaders' retreat was on the past 2 days.
was good. had a lot of insight. much was gained.
what makes a leader.
strength + faithfulness + humility

i'm running through a rough patch at the moment.
at the moment, there's no solution to resolve it amicably.

only God can intervene.
during the message on strength, it was shared that strength is cultivated as we seek Him, obey Him and press on with our trials and tribulations.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature, and complete, not lacking anything.

just finished watching evan almighty.
and in it, there's a line that struck me.
God doesn't just give things; He gives the opportunity to get things. when people pray for patience, courage or a closer family, they want the end results rather than opportunities to develop those virtues and strengthen character.
how true.
i ask God for a heart that is after His, a double portion of His Spirit.
i ask God for a lot of things.
but they aren't going to happen just by clicking my fingers.
i'd have to go through a lot of trials and tribulations to reach that.
and sometimes the going is tough.
that by our might it is not possible, but to be humble and acknowledge that only by God's strength i'd then be delivered.
i guess, that's like what's been said in James. that we'll face a lot of trials, for these are tests of our faith. our responses to crisis show.
through it all, there'd be victories and failures.
yet all in all, they are experiences that we would have to undergo to be complete in Him.

i'm foolish and stubborn.
at times, to fight God every step of the way just to have things my way.
but God's ways are higher than what i know and He is intimately interested in all details of my life.
i'd submit myself to Him and let Him direct me where to go.
that in times of difficulties, i'd not shake my fists angrily at Him but He be glorified with my response to my trials each and everyday.
=)

回了趟小学。
还真的是物事人非事事休。
大致上是这样啦。
不过看到陈老师，就觉得好有亲切感。
时间的确无止境地前进。
曾几何时那乌黑的头发多添了些白丝。

老师问最近同学们都在干些什么，长大后的我们都什么样了。
表面上来说，大家都变了。
老实说，我们都失去联络。
偶尔在街上碰面之类的倒是有，但不多。
环顾四周，学校变了好多。
我熟悉的黑板已被白板给淘汰了；
老爱在黑板默写汉字时捣蛋，把字写的大大的。
那段日子已不再了。

属于我的那张课桌也被替换掉了；
桌面上那用里立克白，密密麻麻写着心仪的女生的名字，
用钢笔画上天马行空的遐想。
桌上尽是许多不能说的秘密。
那也不在了。

暖意说回小学并没什么意义，毕竟一切都不一样了。
我并不认同。
重要的，珍贵的是回忆。
我怀念的是那两小无猜的日子。
那最原始的纯真。
那畅快真诚，由内而发的笑声。
放学后的冰棒。
目送着你回家。
我的第一张大头贴。
那被雨淋湿的篮球场。
那一张张大伙出外郊游的相片。
好多好多珍贵的回忆。
也正是这段日子，造就了今天的我。
你上遇会不也我，学小是不要，想我。

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