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我用维尼熊壁纸贴满这晦暗空间
戴上墨镜看着这可爱的世界.

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听陈绮贞是生活的必须

: : six degrees of separation : :

okae..long time never update le.
recently..studying a sort of theory by Stanley Milgram called the "small world phenomenon"..also known as "six degrees of separation" between people.
briefly, it's like...between any two persons in the world...there is a chain of accquaintances linking both of them and the no. of people in that chain is roughly five or six.
yup. so it's known as the "six degrees of separation" principle.
this guy really did a lot of cool psychological experiments....er..when he was still around.
if u wan further information on this principle.. this is the webbie; http://www.cs.cornell.edu/home/kleinber/swn.d/swn.html

i dun know why i'm interested in this.
i was lyin on my bed, thinking..that i might not ever get to talk to her ever.
but i can't see wat the future holds, right where i'm standing.
maebe a few years later, we might haf different perspectives on watever happened in the past.
i'd wan to tell her how naive i was. but how to, when we have this Berlin Wall between us all along?
so here's where this theory comes in.
yup.
hee. i also dunno wat to sae.
it's just like i showed limei a photo, and the person in tat photo is her fren. and then tat monkey just exclaim.."omg, it's a small world yar..she's my fren"
so yar, hopefully this happens in a few years' time :)

then mah.. hopefully all of u stay cheerful?
hee.
liangping.michelle.jiani.limei.yvon.melissa.merlyn.nuanyi.claryce.charlott.
candy.meowzhi.firda.izzati.chienfern.jinhong.tuyuan.edmund.
yupx.
if u haf any persistent dark clouds hovering above you, give me a call yar.
i'm ur friendly neighbourhood weather-man.
^~^
: : 244363476 : :

(eh...pls view in unicode yar..my blog)
update.
been slacking ever since the hols started.
lying around, fiddling with my guitar, sketch pad....you get the idea.
er..
i'm an OGL for next year's orientation.
eh...laugh lar hor.
cannort imagine rite..me. big time, brooding, always-with-a-long-face, paikia, attitude, blah blah blah antisocial.
heh heh.
but hey...when we were put into groups for the workshop...and in my own group where everyone was staring at each other...guess hu started interacting?
me~
i told them a joke...(okae...they tink it's funny so yar..my jokes are funny okae!)
and after tat i told all the peepx in the LT the same joke...response was quite good.
heh heh.
i used to haf this image..u know..i was always late...the last to enter for OGL meetings, then stinky face, throw bag into the LT seat then sulk.
but with this joke...(i tink it's my alltime golden classic), i guess others' impression of me might haf changed a bit.

heh heh.
：：晴天。　：：

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　１。

　　鹅黄色的。
　　就好像迎春花似的。
　　一朵朵随着风飘浮着。
　　时近，时远。
　　荡着那陈旧的秋千，望着蔚蓝的天空。
　　我任由和畅的风吹着我那凌乱的头发。目光投向天宇，注视着那时近，时远的云朵。
　　荡啊。荡啊。
　　耳机播着个，我静静地让音符在耳旁盘旋着。
　　也就这样地静静听着。

　　　　　　　　故事的小黄花　从出生那年就飘着
　　　　　　　　童年的荡秋千　随记忆一直晃到现在

　　秋千晃呀晃。
　　春。第６５７０个下午。
　　我回到这里，找寻一丝丝的暖意。
　　也许，记忆中并不是这样的，但游乐场已显得格外苍老颓废，秋千上的漆也剥落，生锈了。旋转木马那身紫色的上衣也早已褪色，成了单调的鱼肚白；滑梯不再是小朋友的最爱；碧绿的青苔覆盖了滑梯的两旁。
　　那么多年了。
　　闭上眼睛，任由思绪倒带。
　　我试着亿起。
　　荡啊。荡啊。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　２。

　　“哥哥，能让我们玩这个吗？”
　　秋千停止晃动。
　　穿着白背心，梳着一头油发的男孩回过头。一个瘦小，戴着一副笨重眼镜的小男生站在男孩的身后。那张稚气脸孔挂上一个灿烂的笑容。小男生牵着身后女孩的手。女孩扎着马尾，圆圆的脸蛋，清澈流动的眼睛，可爱极了。手里拿着风车，她微了微笑便往前踏了一步。
　　男孩把秋千让给他俩玩，毕竟是比自己小的弟弟妹妹。女孩坐上秋千，小男生瘦小的身躯使尽力气，把秋千推向蓝天。秋千开始晃。。。小男生赶紧上秋千。两人笑声朗朗，女孩手中的风车不停地转呀转。
　　秋千往天空迈进时，他俩大声尖叫，并把手伸得好直好直－我们总爱试着把云朵从蔚蓝的天空捉下来，放进口袋。秋千往下降时，我们感叹地心吸引力的无奈并大口大口地呼吸，准备再喊的气喘吁吁的。
　　对于一个过了２９１９个下午的男生，也许世上再也没有比荡秋牵来的更有趣的事了。
　　我就是这么认为。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　３。

　　不惜一切地逃课，一味跑到你的课室外等你放学。
　　你总是坐靠窗的位子，细心地聆听着老师讲课。黑板上的加，减，程，除。。我都一窍不通，就是爱时不时踮着脚伸长脖子，看一看老师上完课了没。
　　“哇－”
　　每当你看见有头凌乱的头发从窗沿缓缓冒初来时，便总是毫无保留地用铅笔往我的头上打。也不知那位老师听过几次类似的哀号，每每放下粉笔到窗口看看时，都瞧不见到底是哪个可怜虫每天总是在同样的时间发出如此凄厉的叫声。这时的小男生紧贴着墙壁，迫切地等待老师的身影从窗沿离去。
　　一直站在一旁看着的我不禁笑了。
　　小男生也安分地靠着那堵惨白色的砖墙，等待着那死都不承认自己迟来的打钟声。
　　晴天。雨天。
　　风雨无阻地等待着，就只为了背着包包，一溜烟地直奔游乐场。就直为了寻找那藏在云朵身后的快乐。
　　　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　　　为你翘课的那一天　花落的那一天
　　　　　　　　　教室的那一间我怎么看不见
　　　　　　　　　消失的下雨天　我好想再淋一遍


　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　４。

　　从来都没听过你的声音。
　　空凭你的表情把你牢牢锁在记忆里。傻笑的你。满嘴都是巧克力的你。咪着眼的你。双颊通红的你。秋千就像是我们的共同语。你从不说话，点头摇头的。。有时还真以为你智障呢。晃着的秋千停下时，你总会拿出一颗颗奶糖，而我便拿出口袋里拿快溶化的巧克力。分享着，秋千也随之再次天马行空地遨游无边的云海。
　　云朵后面的后面。
　　有一天我这么对你说。要搬家了。。那好远。。应该就在云朵后面的后面。我把手伸的直直的，指向那好遥远的地方。
　　嗯，应该就在那里。
　　我这么对你说。
　　你点了点头，微微笑。也许你也明了云朵后面的后面那距离之远了吧。
　　我坐上了秋千，一样的奶糖，一样的巧克力，味道竟然不怎么样。秋千下降时，我深深地吸了口气。
　　风开时吹。
　　“你。。还会在来这玩吧？”
　　点了点头。
　　“等我回来再陪你好吧？就夏天暑假吧。等我回来再陪你捉云朵，好不好？”
　　点了点头。
　　秋千开始往上升。我从口袋拿出那颗折了N次的蓝色纸星星。想把星星挤进你的手心里。秋千已快速向蓝天飞驰。我握到了的小手指，星星却掉进沙丘里。
　　第３２８４个下午。
　　她尖叫。我尖叫。
　　心里飘浮着死赖着不走的乌云，竟毫无预警地下气了倾盆大雨。
　　　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　　　没想到失去的勇气　我还留着
　　　　　　　　　好想再问一遍　你会等待还是离开
　　　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　　　刮风这天　我试过握着你手
　　　　　　　　　但偏偏　雨渐渐大到我看你不见　


　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　５。

　　荡啊。荡啊。
　　你在哪？
　　都是我迟来了。
　　我从云朵后面的后面回来陪你捉云朵了，怎么不见你了呢？
　　我叹了叹气。
　　旋转木马笑我旧地重游多傻’滑梯看着我假装你人还没走，也尽力沉住笑声，发出哏咽似的声音；也就有那旧旧的秋千安慰着我，至少我们曾一起游遍天空的每个角落。即使从不交谈，陈旧的秋千连系了两个孩子的遐想。
　　下回再来吧，下回一定回陪你玩的。
　　似无尽的天空此时被灰蒙蒙的乌云覆盖着。
　　我拖着沉重的脚步，缓缓离开。

　　　　　　　　　等到放晴的那天　也许我会比较好一点

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　６。

　　冷风飕飕。
　　游乐场的沙子被风吹起。
　　隐隐约约看见沙丘里。。露出一颗蓝色的纸星星。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　７。

　　一双手把风车轻轻放在沙丘上。
　　伸手把沙丘里的纸星星拾起。
　　星星躺在雪白的手掌心里，五根细长的手指紧紧地合上。
　
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　３０／４／２００４
　　

due to some factors, my essay wun be published in pj's book. so i'm posting them here.
it's a series and there are four essays in it.
all four are sort of..based on jay's songs (qingtian, duan le de xuan, gui ji and qilixiang)
since i haf nothing to do, so typed out and post them here.
i hope u can understand the chinese in these essays yar. if you dun understand anything, tag my board.
enjoy.



: : c l a r y c e : :

i know it's just yesterday that i blogged but
i haf a sudden rush that tells me i haf to write this. in case the feeling slips away
todae. i got back my results.
i got promoted. no thanks to GP.
got B B E.
3 A lvl passes.
most of my frens were promoted.
basketball ppl..onli 6 got promoted. the rest i tink either retest or retain. haix.
i never ask her about her marks.
if she wans me to know, she will tell me.
so far, she's been hiding from me.
i got tired of seeking.

and so, i asked claryce whether she has some time.
it's raining. i'm troubled. and the two don't go hand in hand.
so we sat on the......wall?
yeah. at the grandstand.
and i told her stuff.
she told me some stuff that i din know abt her.
i told her something i'm terribly ashamed of.
she told me stuff that i might be frightened of.
we were like listening to each other's revealations.
i saw a side of her i din know.
i'm not frightened or anything.
surprised maybe. but yeah.
i'm just surprised.
but i'm glad she told me all these. gives me the feeling tat she could confide in me.
i tink i'm happy.

after tat hour, i felt that i shld do something for her. like maebe..protect her.
but gosh, she's as tough as she look...er...funny description lar.
but everybody hurts, and whenever she does feel tat way, i felt ever more that i shld do something to cheer her up. yeah. even though my jokes are hard to laugh at...:<

i went for the OGL interview.
laugh all u want, but yar lar. i'm applying to be OGL. yar.
oh, and claryce told me first 3 mths got this cresent ger dunno wat name found me cute. she's the one hu sae i look like jay, not cathy. bummer. but i'm glad. at least someone found me cute. once upon a time, tat is.
anyway, we walked to phoenix after tat.
had a lot of philosophical chat.
like the butterfly effect, reversing time to undo certain stuff and whether we were just indivuals living out a role crafted for us since birth.
it was engaging...and all these set me thinking..pushing out certain stuff tat i dun wan to tink off..u know wat.
so a big thankew to claryce for tat.
i enjoy talking to her...and i regret telling claryce..regret tat i told her that if only it was her who would talk to me this way.
hey claryce, if u are reading this, i wan to sae i'm sorry!
if there's anything that i want, tat would be tat you could be there for me when i need you. anyone else can come later, after you.
yup.

to claryce
to all my friends, my Troop of Beloved,
if we are just actors and actresses playing out our roles from a pre-destined script, with all my heart, i wan you to know, that i'm blessed to have shared this stage with all of you.

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